Over the past few months I’ve noticed something about Facebook and other social media: It all looks so good. There are times where my friends post photos of a couple or a bunch of them getting together in some exotic location and it used to ping my heart with a bit of jealousy. For a few short moments I’d feel like I was missing out and wish my face could have been in the photo sharing special times with those close friends.
The things we post online are the ‘best of’ in life. Most people post the high moments, the fun times, the unusual experiences, and the epic events. The smiles and styles of the images declare, “I’m having a great time and my life has value!”
If we looked into a Facebook friend’s page and thought that really reflected their life, we’d be fooling ourselves bigtime. I know most of us know this in our heads, but our hearts so often react - “Oh man, I’ve never been to that amazing place” or “Why am I stuck here and they are having so much fun there” ... etc. When reality is, they may have just had an argument with their spouse or days earlier been crying battling depression or struggling to pay the bills. The photos of those events will never be posted. Of course we all hope that they don’t have many negative or ongoing events like that, but it happens. That’s part of life too. And to be honest, the hard times often make the good times even more valuable.
There are also no photos of the mundane. The daily routine of driving the kids to school or brushing teeth or watching TV. The common does not make for many “Likes” on a Facebook page. And yet, so much of our lives are spent in the average things no matter where you live on the planet.
Confession: During the last 7 years of traveling around the world after we would finish graduating this amazing school in Israel, I’d find myself a few days later fallen into a dark hole online. I called it ‘catching up with friends’ as I browsed many FB pages and tried to get a glimpse into their lives as I’d been very much out of contact with the rest of the world for a while. I would click away at photos and pages and consume the fluffy image people projected online. And... eventually... feel awful. The subconscious would hiss, “Look at them! Look at all they’ve been doing with their lives that you are missing out on by what you are doing with yours. Look how much more beautiful and perfect their lives are than yours! You’ve been wasting your time with these other things! You should be comfortable back in your country getting married and having cute babies.” I’d try to comfort myself thinking that, well, I bet they are looking right back at my photos and a bit jealous of my life. But generally I’d fight waves feeling worthless or depressed for a few days. (Not to mention there were all sorts of other extreme emotions going on at that time of year for me!) Even though I knew this was an illusion, it still greatly affected my inner emotions. I’d ache for the supposed greener pasture on the other side of the fence.
So I wonder, how many others go through this too?
How deeply do these social media streams affect people with no self-worth or sense of identity?
Through the last year my heart has been going through a lot of changes. My core identity has been on a deep restoration track. And I think that’s affected how I look at the stream of photos and updates coming through the web. Lately when I see my friends and family together having epic adventures without me, I’m not jealous. There’s a genuine joy I feel for them in their moment while also being completely content with where I am. I know we all know to be this way in our heads, but actually it’s where my heart is dwelling now. I don’t have to try to talk myself in to the truth that I have value, am deeply loved, and am living an epic adventure that can’t be compared to any other. I know this truth in the depths of my being.
What if photos people post could simply inspire? Instead of looking at so-and-so’s fun photos with envy, I decided to go out and have my own fun. Could we replace jealousy and envy with inspiration and genuine celebrating one another? So my friend just posted photos of this amazing place I’ve never been to: do I wallow in jealousy or start seriously looking at how I could go and see that place? Maybe others photos could help us conclude: I will love others more deeply. I’ll go live my own adventure. The dreams of my heart have value and must be pursued!
The things we post online are the ‘best of’ in life. Most people post the high moments, the fun times, the unusual experiences, and the epic events. The smiles and styles of the images declare, “I’m having a great time and my life has value!”
If we looked into a Facebook friend’s page and thought that really reflected their life, we’d be fooling ourselves bigtime. I know most of us know this in our heads, but our hearts so often react - “Oh man, I’ve never been to that amazing place” or “Why am I stuck here and they are having so much fun there” ... etc. When reality is, they may have just had an argument with their spouse or days earlier been crying battling depression or struggling to pay the bills. The photos of those events will never be posted. Of course we all hope that they don’t have many negative or ongoing events like that, but it happens. That’s part of life too. And to be honest, the hard times often make the good times even more valuable.
There are also no photos of the mundane. The daily routine of driving the kids to school or brushing teeth or watching TV. The common does not make for many “Likes” on a Facebook page. And yet, so much of our lives are spent in the average things no matter where you live on the planet.
Confession: During the last 7 years of traveling around the world after we would finish graduating this amazing school in Israel, I’d find myself a few days later fallen into a dark hole online. I called it ‘catching up with friends’ as I browsed many FB pages and tried to get a glimpse into their lives as I’d been very much out of contact with the rest of the world for a while. I would click away at photos and pages and consume the fluffy image people projected online. And... eventually... feel awful. The subconscious would hiss, “Look at them! Look at all they’ve been doing with their lives that you are missing out on by what you are doing with yours. Look how much more beautiful and perfect their lives are than yours! You’ve been wasting your time with these other things! You should be comfortable back in your country getting married and having cute babies.” I’d try to comfort myself thinking that, well, I bet they are looking right back at my photos and a bit jealous of my life. But generally I’d fight waves feeling worthless or depressed for a few days. (Not to mention there were all sorts of other extreme emotions going on at that time of year for me!) Even though I knew this was an illusion, it still greatly affected my inner emotions. I’d ache for the supposed greener pasture on the other side of the fence.
So I wonder, how many others go through this too?
How deeply do these social media streams affect people with no self-worth or sense of identity?
Through the last year my heart has been going through a lot of changes. My core identity has been on a deep restoration track. And I think that’s affected how I look at the stream of photos and updates coming through the web. Lately when I see my friends and family together having epic adventures without me, I’m not jealous. There’s a genuine joy I feel for them in their moment while also being completely content with where I am. I know we all know to be this way in our heads, but actually it’s where my heart is dwelling now. I don’t have to try to talk myself in to the truth that I have value, am deeply loved, and am living an epic adventure that can’t be compared to any other. I know this truth in the depths of my being.
What if photos people post could simply inspire? Instead of looking at so-and-so’s fun photos with envy, I decided to go out and have my own fun. Could we replace jealousy and envy with inspiration and genuine celebrating one another? So my friend just posted photos of this amazing place I’ve never been to: do I wallow in jealousy or start seriously looking at how I could go and see that place? Maybe others photos could help us conclude: I will love others more deeply. I’ll go live my own adventure. The dreams of my heart have value and must be pursued!
