The Glamorous Facebook Life

Over the past few months I’ve noticed something about Facebook and other social media: It all looks so good. There are times where my friends post photos of a couple or a bunch of them getting together in some exotic location and it used to ping my heart with a bit of jealousy. For a few short moments I’d feel like I was missing out and wish my face could have been in the photo sharing special times with those close friends.

The things we post online are the ‘best of’ in life. Most people post the high moments, the fun times, the unusual experiences, and the epic events. The smiles and styles of the images declare, “I’m having a great time and my life has value!”

If we looked into a Facebook friend’s page and thought that really reflected their life, we’d be fooling ourselves bigtime. I know most of us know this in our heads, but our hearts so often react - “Oh man, I’ve never been to that amazing place” or “Why am I stuck here and they are having so much fun there” ... etc. When reality is, they may have just had an argument with their spouse or days earlier been crying battling depression or struggling to pay the bills. The photos of those events will never be posted. Of course we all hope that they don’t have many negative or ongoing events like that, but it happens. That’s part of life too. And to be honest, the hard times often make the good times even more valuable.

There are also no photos of the mundane. The daily routine of driving the kids to school or brushing teeth or watching TV. The common does not make for many “Likes” on a Facebook page. And yet, so much of our lives are spent in the average things no matter where you live on the planet.

Confession: During the last 7 years of traveling around the world after we would finish graduating this amazing school in Israel, I’d find myself a few days later fallen into a dark hole online. I called it ‘catching up with friends’ as I browsed many FB pages and tried to get a glimpse into their lives as I’d been very much out of contact with the rest of the world for a while. I would click away at photos and pages and consume the fluffy image people projected online. And... eventually... feel awful. The subconscious would hiss, “Look at them! Look at all they’ve been doing with their lives that you are missing out on by what you are doing with yours. Look how much more beautiful and perfect their lives are than yours! You’ve been wasting your time with these other things! You should be comfortable back in your country getting married and having cute babies.” I’d try to comfort myself thinking that, well, I bet they are looking right back at my photos and a bit jealous of my life. But generally I’d fight waves feeling worthless or depressed for a few days. (Not to mention there were all sorts of other extreme emotions going on at that time of year for me!) Even though I knew this was an illusion, it still greatly affected my inner emotions. I’d ache for the supposed greener pasture on the other side of the fence.

So I wonder, how many others go through this too?

How deeply do these social media streams affect people with no self-worth or sense of identity?

Through the last year my heart has been going through a lot of changes. My core identity has been on a deep restoration track. And I think that’s affected how I look at the stream of photos and updates coming through the web. Lately when I see my friends and family together having epic adventures without me, I’m not jealous. There’s a genuine joy I feel for them in their moment while also being completely content with where I am. I know we all know to be this way in our heads, but actually it’s where my heart is dwelling now. I don’t have to try to talk myself in to the truth that I have value, am deeply loved, and am living an epic adventure that can’t be compared to any other. I know this truth in the depths of my being.

What if photos people post could simply inspire? Instead of looking at so-and-so’s fun photos with envy, I decided to go out and have my own fun. Could we replace jealousy and envy with inspiration and genuine celebrating one another? So my friend just posted photos of this amazing place I’ve never been to: do I wallow in jealousy or start seriously looking at how I could go and see that place? Maybe others photos could help us conclude: I will love others more deeply. I’ll go live my own adventure. The dreams of my heart have value and must be pursued!

True Wealth

What is your life measured by? What do you equate success to?

No seriously think about it. 

How do you measure wealth? True wealth? Is it by money? Happiness? The amount of lives you’ve seen changed? The degree to which you abide in God’s presence? How many children you have? The success of your children? How financially secure your future seems to be? 

I’ve realized I’ve seen myself as poor through these years in missions. I certainly started this journey with the stereotype that to be in missions means to be poor. In my childhood home it was said ‘whatever you do, don’t marry a pastor or a missionary because you’ll be poor’. So as I embarked on this journey to simply follow Jesus more closely (which led toward ‘missions’), I also took on this perception of myself as poor and needy. 

I just realized something a few minutes ago. It’s been brewing for a while now. I’m rich. I’m freakin rich. I experience true wealth all the time! Deeply knowing I’m loved by our Father God all the time no matter what I do is my greatest inheritance. The degree to which I see my dreams coming true and experience fantastic adventures all the time gives a real sense of happiness wealth. I’ve seen many countries, grown deep relationships, loved fiercely, and annually chosen to take a life direction of ‘living by faith’. It could also be called ‘living by ridiculous trust in God for every single thing’. My sense of self-worth does not change when I am stopping to play with a kid who lives on the street or having dinner with millionaires. My worth is no longer tied in my external stuff – what I wear or drive or where I live. 

For some time now I’ve hidden these truths I’m discovering under the blanket of ‘missionaries are poor’. Because I’ve worried that other Christians would be jealous, I haven’t displayed the fullness of what God’s been up to in my life. It’s like I’ve found a huge ravine of diamonds that is on the land I inherited and I’m afraid that others will react with envy and condemnation for finding it. 

Well – OH WELL! It’s time to throw off the false shroud of poverty! I’m freakin rich! I’ve come to know true wealth and it’s blowing my mind! Even though they always said in church that Jesus is your ‘all in all’, I LIVE it and KNOW it! I have years of experience and many many stories to prove it’s true. But I had to get out there – away from the safe, predictable harbor (in my case, suburban America) and test it out. Is Jesus REALLY everything He claimed to be? Is God GOOD like we chant in youth group, really? I’ve discovered that I’m not content to just believe what others say because I think they know more about something. I’ve gotta experience it. KNOW it in the core of my being. And now I KNOW that Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH and my LIFE. 

My 2¢ on Travel Packing

Since I've been traveling for a while (from age 6 weeks onward, round the world 5 times, 36 nations) I've formed a few opinions on what works best for traveling. Mainly, I'm involved with missions training schools, so the travel I do requires flexibility. This entry could also be considered the travel gear I'd recommend for the around the world DTS.

First I'll give you my money-is-no-option favorites for traveling...

Luggage:
You need one basic bag, I prefer a backpacking pack. The only question people are starting to ask is, with wheels or without?

Here's my current bag - the Osprey Meridian 22". I've used this one for a year now and think it was well-worth the investment. Since I travel as much as I do, it's been much less effort than having to strap all my belongings to my back every time I have to relocate. I like how this has a detachable backpack as well. The drawback would be if you're having to hike a ways with this on your back, it is heavier than most traditional packs.

Another great option - Ospray Farpoint 70... or any similar backpack.

If you are pretty adventurous and plan to some outdoor backpacking, then be sure to get one of these traditional packs. I used one of these for 4 trips around the planet and it was great. Of these I recommend one that's not top-loading and has access from the sides.

Carry-on bag:
A small backpack or messenger bag is good for this. I like the messenger bag as it's easy to access and in countries with higher security, I find it's easier to wear on the front than a backpack.

Within the carry-on, for longer flights (8-hours +) I have a little package in there with earplugs, inflatable neck pillow, eye blind, facewash, lotion, toothbrush/toothpaste, sleeping pills and lip balm. The trick to sleeping on long flights is to get ready for bed like you normally would and make yourself as comfortable as possible. You may want to even throw some deodorant in there as most human beings seem to come off 15-hour flights smelling like death warmed over. Oh, and don't forget the breath mints!

For packing clothes:
Packing cubes are the way to go! I've tried other options, but this is my favorite. Roll your clothes and put them in the cube to save on space.

For clothing a good rule of thumb is to pack for 7 days regardless of how long you'll be gone (yes, that includes months!). I usually pack 3 pairs of pants, 2 skirts, 1 pair of shorts, 5-8 tops, a lightweight jacket and a bathing suit. I make sure to have an outfit that could be worn for dirty work as well as one for more formal settings. Since I live in community ( I pack for the season I'll spend the most time in. If I'll mainly be in warm weather, I might not even pack shoes! Too often I've carried around a pair of "just in case" footwear that I never wore.

It's generally good to pack solid colors of clothing as it gives more options to mix and match. For the ladies, you can always dress up an outfit with nice jewelery or a scarf. If you want to go for the "I'm a tourist!" look then be sure to bring your bright patterns.

Toiletry kit:
Bring small bottles of everything you need. You can always buy soap/shampoo in other countries! Keep it nice and organized in one location together.
For those that don't know what goes in the toiletry kit: toothbrush/toothpaste, floss, band-aids, nail file, lotion, mouthwash, tweezers, nail clippers, make-up (ladies!), soap/shampoo, deodorant, and facewash.

Other items:
I do bring a hair dryer, a quick-dry towel, a multiple-function pocket knife, an adapter or two (that's my favorite one), and a coffee sock.
A favorite item: a sarong. It functions as a beach towel, a skirt, a blanket, a bathrobe, a picnic blanket and so on!
An item I dream about having is a Baby Taylor guitar. It's the ultimate travel guitar!

Electronics:
Apple. Apple Apple Apple. Great computers great gagets. Go for it! I've traveled with a MacBook for years now, and it's still going pretty strong. The new iPad is super cool, but I don't have a lot of experience with it. Everyone I know who has one loves it. Recently, by the grace of God, I was given an iPhone. I thought it was totally over-rated and silly trendy until I started using it. This thing is helping me so much with organization. I have the Bible in there. It even works with Skype (which you certainly want to sign up on if you're traveling for more than a month). It doesn't yet make my coffee, but I'm sure the next version will.

For a camera I've come to love Canon. Besides good quality shots, I've filmed lots of video on my little point & shoot camera. For almost SLR quality and control while also being a compact model, I recommend the Canon G12. I don't own it, but I sure think it's a great camera! (Remember this is my money-is-no-object list!) I do recommend purchasing an extra battery and memory card to have on hand. You don't want to be caught with a dead battery right in the middle of some memorable moment!


Don't worry about 'forgetting something'. You can almost always find a similar item to the one you miss in the new country! Sometimes I actually under-pack so that I will have opportunity to buy an inexpensive new item of clothing. It's part of the adventure! If you wanted life to remain predictable and controlled, you probably would have stayed at home in the first place.

More tips on packing from someone with much more experience than me. Sign up for his blog - it's great!

Here are some essentials to remember for stress free travel.

I must conclude with saying, you don't need as much as you think you do. (And generally speaking I'd like to re-emphasize this to the Americans out there!) Annually I learn this lesson as I've been a chronic over-packer. The year I learned the most about packing was when my backpack was stolen in Argentina. The full story is here. Truly, you can get by with packing up your dad's old backpack from college, putting your stuff into shopping bags (you can always find more!), and using internet cafes along the way. For 3 years I traveled around the world without a cell phone and I didn't miss it! More than likely you don't have to go out and buy new things for your big trip - ask around to friends and family and see what's available.

If you have any more specific questions, please message or email me! If you have any tips I need to know about - please pass them on. I've learned there is always more to know on this subject!

Flower Girls

It's peonies season here in New Zealand. My local farmer friends in Oxford have been clipping and packing these away to be sold internationally for as much as $10 per flower. Now that the season is drawing to a close, many flowers are still on the bush, but won't be shipped or used, so I've been allowed to help myself for free!

I've also been asking the Lord for some creative ways to reach out to people in Christchurch. Sharing with others about my faith doesn't just happen when I'm leading a Christian group, it should be a lifestyle.

Two nights ago I had a dream that woke me up at 4:30 in the morning. I had the idea to clip some of these flowers and give them out to people in downtown Christchurch. Unlike so many good, God-inspired ideas I have, I decided to act on this one.

Friday afternoon Kayla, Anna and I went flower picking in the warm summer sun. We went downtown to the main square with our buckets labeled "Free". Attached to some of the stems of flowers we put little notes with Bible verses like, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
(Jeremiah 29:11&12).

I didn't have much of an plan of what to say. The girls and I prayed before we started. The main goal: That people would encounter God's love. We would hand out the flower and tell the person that this is a reminder of how very much God loves them. "He loves you because he loves you because he loves you!" Most couldn't believe we were giving these peonies out for free.


One random young guy came and parked himself right next to me. He didn't want a flower, but he was quick to announce, "God is a D.J." He seemed a bit dark, maybe dealing with depression or something. As he watched people come and receive these beautiful flowers to represent God's love, you could see the wheels turning in his head. He said, "I'm confused. You're not like those Christians that come door to door trying to cram the Bible down my throat. I don't like how that feels." I asked him, "So what does this feel like?" He thought and said, "It feels like... love."

A teenage girl dressed in black with her head hung low walked with steady pace along the sidewalk near me. I called out, "Would you like a flower?" Her face lit up as she slowly approached. "Here you go - pick out whatever one you want. This is to represent how very much God loves you!" Grinning, she took the flower and then open her arms to me. I gave her a big hug and her whole countenance changed. It was beautiful! She took off before we could chat more, but you could see this little physical act of grace impacted her.

Kayla and Anna had sweet encounters as well. Christchurch square was filled with people grinning with flowers in hand. I pray that each person who received a flower also received a glimpse into God's heart for them.

He's so cool!

Lately I hear myself exclaiming little blurbs about God like: He's so cool! He's way better than I thought. I can't believe how FUN life can be following Jesus!

The revelation of His goodness is sinking in deeper in my life. So much so, it's like talking about a friend I just love to be around. And I keep discovering how it all stems out of my relationship with Him.

As I get to know Jesus more, I'm amazed about his love for me. His thoughts and words toward me are soooo affirming. His confidence in me is amazing! God's like the most proud dad before I even start trying to accomplish something. These revelations are changing my life.

Recently I've talked a lot to friends and family about my last year serving around the world in missions and I just remembered one of the keys I've forgotten to share. Through this past season I've been learning that when my truest identity is realized in Christ, everything seems possible. Instead of feeling fear or doubt as I face this or that event, I can tap into confidence and peace. I am hidden in Christ - that means I have access to unlimited resources of heaven. Wild! More and more I've been choosing to align how I see myself with who God says I am and it's awesome. Instead of worry, I seek God's perspective and discover such peace.

This change is affecting everything in the best way. As I step out to lead missions teams, I find I'm not as fearful of things going wrong or all the 'what if...'s. When people don't respond the way I would like them to or the day doesn't go as planned, I'm far less bothered by it. Before this, so much of my confidence was wrapped up in people's reactions or encouragement or lack thereof. But now I'm moving forward in more peace, grace, and joy than I ever had before regardless of the changing situations around me.

I like what Graham Cooke says, "Learn to walk in God's perception of who you are, because yours is not good enough."

Donations?

I recently discovered that I can add a "Donations" button to this blog! Since what I do in missions is 100% support raised, this may be a great resource for anyone who would like to donate online by credit card.

Your generosity goes toward supporting me in training and equipping young people for missions and beyond. Our discipleship training school is an awesome tool God's using to bless and transform lives for his Kingdom and nations around the world.

For more information about this school, please check out YWAM Oxford

Thank you SO MUCH to those generous ones who decide to partner with me in missions!

"Since I have my life before me..."

I read something today that choked me up a bit in a book called Crazy Love. It was found in the writing of a young girl who put words to the feelings I have burning in my heart - the thoughts that seem foolish, but resonate as true. This teenager would spend her baby-sitting money on Bibles that she passed out to all of her unsaved friends. She wrote this essay when she was 12 years old…

“SINCE I HAVE MY LIFE BEFORE ME”
by Brooke Bronkowski

I’ll live my life to the fullest. I’ll be happy. I’ll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.
You see, I’ll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I’ll have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that’s all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I’ll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I’ll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.
I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!

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Three years after writing this, she was killed in a car accident. Around 200 people committed their lives to Jesus at her funeral.

Will you be a history maker?